Substitutions in the Potty Mouth Arena: So if you know me (which you probably do since only my friends read Boomvang), you know that I have a BIG potty mouth. I love swear words. I love saying them, writing them, love ‘em. But sometimes using the f-word as often as I would like gets me in a bit of trouble. However, I do find that my speech has gaping holes in it that demand an expletive that begins with the letter F. On this front I have taken a hint from my crazy friend Peter Hodum.
Peter, get this, uses absolutely no swear words. Instead he uses a series of words that only Peter, or your grey haired grandmother, could get away with using without looking like a complete milk-toast mother-xxxx, if you know what I mean. Peter says things like, "holy dooley" and "darn" (he has to be one of five people on the planet who actually say darn other than actors on R rated movies that have been over-dubbed). One of Peter’s latest phrases is, "What the Freak?" Now we can all divine the origin of this one, I myself have been known to say "what the fuck" on occasion (much to many adults chagrin).
In my potty mouth adventures I have noticed that fuck seems to be the word that people most object to (perhaps because they are not doing enough of it...or perhaps just because it’s a dirty one, thus explaining my attraction to it). So I have recently begun using derivations of freak wherever I would ordinarily use fuck. I have found it to be quite a satisfactory substitution. For one, i love the word freak, as i personally consider myself one, like to get freaky, and love all things freakish. Freak you doesn’t really work that well but I’m willing to fall back on the old standby when I need that phrase.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sticking with hell and shit and all the rest (you will not find me saying heck or darn any time in the near future). But you’ve got to start somewhere, so freak off.