Once we decided to get married, we had to figure out how to get engaged (because that comes first you know). Neither of us wanted to be the passive recipient of a proposal, so on January first we got together at Stu and Kelly's house with our friends Tony and Jen and drank champagne and proposed to each other. This is making a long story short. If you want the whole story (including how I proposed to Mitch once and he said no and how he denies the whole thing ever happened), you'll have to come to the wedding. But as a teaser, here are the proposals.

The Adoration Proclamation by C.A. Brigham

On this, the first day of the first month of the new millenium, I, Christy Brigham, being of unsound mind and body, do declare the following:

Whereas the world is a preposterous, outrageous, volatile place full of change and mystery, and the future is as unknown to us as our dreamlike recollections and spider threads of the past.

Whereas you, Mitchell Allen, are a nutty, fantastical, splendiferous, wackified luminousity.

Whereas we find ourselves here, together in our graduate school hovel, choosing each other over all comers, after five years of cohabitation.

Whereas you give good back scratches, win all our wrestling matches, love our crazy pets, have the softest hair, do the happy bed dance, look good in Hawaiian shirts, have excellent taste in shoes, love me as only a crazy man can (with the complete adoration that I deserve), are my handsome fox-faced monkey boy, and are a truly WILD AND CRAZY GUY.

Whereas we make most excellent partners in crime.

Whereas you are now clean, showered, employed, and not sitting like a depressed lump on a log. And I am no longer completely devastated by my mom's death.

I propose, despite my fundamental discomfort and unease with change, my reluctance to embrace conventions and my belief in an ever-changing, inscrutable universe that resists attempts at categorization and permanence,

I propose that you, Mitchell Monkey Allen, and I, Christy Crow Brigham, make our crazy sideshow legit.


Mainly because I love you THE MOST.


List #2001:
A partial litany of reasons for Christy and Mitch to get married
by M. T. Allen

  1.  Because I'm your biggest fan.
  2.  Because our out of town friends will come to visit us.
  3.  Because we should get the new millennium off to a good start.
  4.  Because it will make for an entertaining BOOMVANG article.
  5.  Because it will complete the Cinderella story.
  6.  Because we could use a few more waffle irons.
  7.  Because big love demands big gestures.
  8.  Because we can torment Stu by making him be our wedding  photographer.
  9.  Because Cleo likes it when we're together.
  10. Because if I ever light myself on fire on New Year's Eve, I want you to  be able to visit me in the hospital without being hassled.
  11. Because I'd like to get some more mileage out of that nice jacket I  got for Kelly and Stu's wedding.
  12. Because in an uncertain world, I know we belong together.
  13. Because the word "girlfriend" lacks sufficient explanatory power.
  14. Because I can't think of any really good reason not to.
  15. Because our insurance company already thinks we are.
  16. Because who else could stand the mess of living with either of us?
  17. NAMBE!!!
  18. Because all our friends are doing it.
  19. Because having kids out of wedlock is only stylish if you're a big  celebrity.
  20. Because it will give us a great excuse to throw a big party.
  21. Because I love you.

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